If you are pregnant or newly postpartum this article is for you. Ideally you are reading this during pregnancy while preparing for your postpartum experience. Maybe you have done this baby thing before or this is your first time either way you long for helpful strategies to make this transition as smooth as possible for you and your family.
Postpartum is a very unique experience. It is full of new feelings of love and joy and new feelings of overwhelm and tears. This is all mixed together into a very visceral experience overload. So many changes to your body, your time, your family, your sleep, your everything and this new little being to love and care for.
So how do you prepare for this especially when you have never experienced it before? Good question. There is so much information on the internet telling you what to do and what not to do. So what information do you take seriously and what do you ignore? Well look no further.
Hoping to make this easy for you by using information from real moms who have been there. These are three things suggested by real moms to make your postpartum journey a successful one.
1) Rest, rest and then when you think there has been lots of rest, rest some more.
So what does rest mean? It can mean many things to many people. For postpartum the rule that I have found the most helpful is the 5-5-5 rule. Five days in the bed, five days on the bed and five days around the bed. This is a little over two weeks just nesting and adjusting. There is so much pressure on social media and by family to do and be more than this in these first two weeks. Moms post about doing work outs, hiking and family outings with their new baby. This may make for cute photos to share but this is not a healthy approach for a successful postpartum. This effects how moms will cope a month – six months down the road on their post partum journey and they are in for burnout down the road.
Your body has gone through a huge change.
Your life has gone through a huge change.
Your hormones are changing.
This is no small feat and takes a long time to recover properly. So time and patience need to be given even if you are feeling up to doing all the things, don’t. Rest.
Why do we treat this basic need to recover for moms so lightly in our culture? This is within your control though to protect your rest. Rest, rest and rest.
Remember when a baby is born a mother is also born.
2) Ask for help
Plan for help ahead of time but also ask for help as the needs arise. This includes your partner. Involve your partner in the household tasks, etc. Definitely do not refuse help if offered unless it is help that is going to be a burden and an imposition. Example: let me come over and help but then spends the whole time with the baby and creates stress and disrupts routines instead offering practical assistance.
Asking for help does not come easily to everyone. But take a deep breath state how you feel and what you need.
This leads to the last tip with asking for help also comes setting boundaries with people
3) Boundaries
Not the dreaded word. This word holds so much these days as it is all over social media. Boundaries are knowing where you end and another person begins, knowing that you are not responsible for other people’s emotions. Mostly for this purpose boundaries are asking for what you need + saying no when you need to + saying yes when you mean it.
So how do you do this in actuality? Because it is easier said than done right?
Well. Start with something simple. No we will not be going any where to visit people in the first two weeks post partum. Yes you can come and visit for 20 minutes but no holding the baby (this is an example but choose whatever is comfortable for your family).
Set a list of non-negotiables for you to be able to get the space, help and rest that you need for this first month postpartum.
Hope this helps. Congratulations on your little one.
Here is to a beautiful but challenging postpartum.
If you are not feeling yourself after the first month then reach out for support.
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