Have you ever wondered how to actually start living with a thankful heart? What if it was your go to to always see the good and to be able to find the silver lining? I would like to explore what gratitude is, how it can be nurtured and what changes you may notice in your life if gratitude becomes more of your way of being.
Gratitude is often talked about these days. Gratitude journaling for example is pretty popular.
What is gratitude?
Gratitude: when you feel thankful for the good things in your life.
There are definitely some obstacles to gratitude. In our have everything now culture and avoid pain, sorrow and suffering at all cost culture it is hard to dig into genuine, below surface level gratitude.
Also gratefulness cannot just be listing things on route, this will only at best create a superficial feeling of very temporary gratitude, instead of a way of being that translates into everyday life and struggles. It cannot just be I am choosing to try to be grateful it is I AM GRATEFUL. It is a state of being.
So how do you even come close to achieving this lofty goal?
Here are three helpful tips and strategies to nurture an attitude of gratitude.
1) Prayer/meditation:
Prayer and meditation automatically shifts our focus. Shifts it away from our worry spirals, our wanting more, our regret and our need to control and shifts our attention to something bigger than we are. We are released in this shift to let go of our tenuous grasp on control. We are then able to say I do not need to be able to control everything from my past our in my future to have peace and joy now.
I will tell you that gratitude is never found in the past or future it is found in the present moment.
You may ask, is it possible or even helpful to do prayer and meditation when everything in my life seems to be falling apart? How can I possibly be grateful?
The answer is yes, it is absolutely imperative to be consistent with this no matter what is happening in your life to ensure that the gratitude is an attitude and way of being.
Start by setting aside 5 minutes daily to be with your breath to accept the way things are without trying to change or rail against anything and to let your thoughts float by like clouds.
2) Flip the script
The internal story we tell ourselves daily about the things that happen in our lives matters. What is the color, themes and general tone of your internal script on average, most days?
Where is the spotlight of your attention being directed?
Pay attention to your thoughts. Do you automatically notice the stressful, the scary the mistakes? OR Do you automatically notice the wins, the glimmers and the silver linings?
You do have a choice in this. When your brain automatically jumps to noticing the “negative,” for lack of a better word, redirect the spotlight to find other possibilities. For example if your spouse gives you the silent treatment instead of jumping to “they are mad at me” pause and consider maybe they are feeling tapped out or had a bad day. There are so many daily life examples and opportunities to flip the script. You are not trapped in your current narrative and way of being.
This is hopefully a hopeful and encouraging thought. Even if you flip the script once when you normally wouldn’t have that is awesome.
3) Noticing Glimmers
Glimmers are the opposite of what is referred to as triggers. Glimmers are what brings on the feeling of joy, warmth and peace for you.
Start noticing. Notice what brings a smile to your face and what makes you feel internally calm and safe?
Once you notice then you can intentionally add more of those things into your life.
Noticing is the hard part. Notice glimmers when things are hard as well. This is a challenging exercise but truly impactful.
I hope you find these tips and strategies helpful.
The attitude of gratitude is something that can be nurtured that you can choose to have more of in your life.
If these things are working for you. You will notice your brain starting to automatically notice other possibilities besides the negative. You will feel more engaged and present in your daily life. Try it today!!
Karisa, RP, MACP, PMH-C
